If I Had a Horse…

…I would name her Intention, and I would ride her all day long. 

This would make it easier for me to do what I know I must do each do to maintain peace and equilibrium in my life. I am working hard to set my intention each my morning and stay grounded from a place of compassion and understanding even towards myself. Maybe it's not always so evident to those around me, but be assured that this is exactly what me and my girl Intention are trying to do.

I like this metaphor of a horse because of that other thing you are supposed to do with horses. You know- the thing about falling off and getting right back on. I'm not so sure that I really would do such a thing with a real live filly but this spirit icon horse and I are just gonna keep practicing till we ride off into the sunset.

Cue music.

Almost Spring Cheer

Aren't these flowers just gorgeous? They were a very special gift from Dusty on the night I started my writing group. Seems he knew I would be nervous and wanted to send me out into the night feeling confident and cheered. Sweet, right?

About that writing group. I love it, absolutely love it. I'm still not sure that I have what it takes to "make it" as any sort of a writer, but the lovely folks in the group have been great at providing that gentle push that has me starting to build a portfolio of work and taking those first baby steps toward applying for the MFA in Creative Writing.

You see, I've really been agonizing over this whole question of whether to pursue a Masters at all and in what, but the few years out of academia has given me the chance to see that get a masters in the "right" field is no guarantee of finding the right job after and that lots of folks end up doing something really different than what they are "trained" in. I still love a lot of other fields, the idea of a psych degree or gender studies still really intrigues and attracts me, but in my heart of hearts I have wanted to be writer since I was eight years old. It's been kind of a secret, because lets face it- there's a lot of want to be writers out there, a whole lot of broken dreams all tangled up in slush piles everywhere. I'm afraid of failure. But at this point in my life, I am more afraid of not trying to do the thing I want the most just because I might suck at it. Thanks for letting me practice on all you nice people, really, thank you.

Mail Call

 

I was cleaning off my desk this morning and guess what I found? Remember this post? Well, I really did do it and got this card in the mail just a few days later. You might think it wasn't that exciting since I had written the card myself, but you would be wrong. I wrote it quickly, letting the words flow out of my pen and quickly sealed it up tight before I could critique myself too much. Therefore, I really couldn't remember what it said. Awwww, I can be so nice and supportive to myself. Don't we all need to be reminded of that sometimes? 

In other news, my handwriting is not attractive. No, don't argue with me. Miss Davis would be so disappointed to know that it never did get better. It gets extra crazy when I am at my writing group and just trying to get the words on paper. I really should start transcribing those pages now, before I can't read it myself. 

Dusty & I are off to the unparalleled Oregon coast now, a birthday getaway for us both. Wish me happy antiquing, eating, and blackjacking!

Route 666?

I had the strangest thought this morning while driving to work. Someday soon (like in 5 years or so) I'd really like to take a whole summer off and do the classic cross country trip. I'd really like to go with my kiddo, who would be just the right age to appreciate his hip old mom's spirit while alternately pouting about missing a summer with his friends. Of course I don't think I'd mind being by myself to awfully much either. My best-best-best girlfriend Steph would be fun too. I have it in my head that I need to go see all the national parks, and eat pecan pie in Georgia, swim off the gulf coast, eat key lime pie in Florida, see the quilts of the Midwest, eat lobster in Maine, hmmm, I like eating...

Ch-ch-changes

I used to have a blog. It was called "Chubbykins Goes Down". A rather clever play on words, thought I. Referencing my stature as a person of a roly-poly nature and my struggle to deflate said chubbiness, as well as a shout out to the excellent film, Igby Goes Down, it was a fine name for a blog. My mom read it, and maybe sometimes some other folks stumbled over it. My mom thinks I am special, so she told some people in her office to come check out my brilliant little corner of webdom.  

So, Dustin* and his partner sat down for a merry night of bloggy goodness and typed, "Chubbygirl Goes Down" in the URL bar. Uh yeah, not what they were expecting apparently. Although I'm sure that site is brilliant in it's own right.  Anyhoooo, that little mix up had never occurred to me before but now it's all I can think of. So, I've moved all my posts to this shiny new blog, where, god willing no one will need any therapy after viewing.

*Name changed to protect the innocent.

Freakish Fractals

Guess what this is!? No really, guess! Awww, no fair, the foody friends got it. Yup, it's a Romanesco broccoli which means it's really a cauliflower. I think.

So beside just looking super cool this little veggie powerhouse is very yummy in the tummy. It seems intimidating but we just sliced it up and sauteed away in a little olive oil, garlic and red pepper flakes. It was the perfect side dish for some hearty and rich spaghetti.

Working at the veggie hut like we do, it's been hard to justify a lot of gardening since we can actually get most things cheaper than the labor and water it would take to grow them. I've really missed spending time in the garden though, so this year I am planning to grow some of these kind of specialty crops that make meals a little extra special. Things like purple and orange cauliflower, purple pole beans, chioggia beets, and baby eggplants. And, let's face it. Some things just taste better fresh picked. Tomatoes and lemon cucumbers and peas off the vine especially. 

 

Fashionably Late

I am late to the "Happy New Year" hullabaloo. My apologies, traffic was simply crushing, my heel broke, I was a bit under the weather, my alarm never went off, and assorted other excuses. The truth is I spent most of the holiday season, including the New Year's day and eve sorting out some relationship issues. What can I say? It's complicated folks. Also, love stinks.

But never mind all that now. What matters is now, this ordinary moment right here. At least that's what Pema Chodron has to say on the matter of the first month of the new year. I love these calendars from her, because sometimes it's all I can do to pause and enjoy those fleeting moments of beauty. Believe it or not, I pause at my little calender posted on my pantry door and read those words more times a day than might be seemly. Do you think that counts as meditation?

There is some good stuff coming this year folks, My health goals remain a priority and I add my writing practice to the rooster. Next week I join a writing group focused on personal memoir writing. I'm planning to expand the blog and maybe even join the blogosphere? If y'all will have me, of course. My vision is a little bit funny, part poetry, always writing, gardening, cooking/eating, and family shenanigans. Is a name change in order? Talk to me people. If you do, I promise to make you some of these:


And yes, those are four different kinds of chocolate chips plus mini dark m&m's. There might also be a few peanut butter chips hiding out in there too. Just sayin.