Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Blood and Roses

"You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"

-On the Radio
Regina Spektor

Even if I didn't like Regina Spektor's music (which I do), I think this would still be one of my favorite bits of poetry/lyric in the world. I get chills every time I hear it, and a few weeks ago when I was huffing and puffing it on the treadmill, this song came on the ipod and helped me push through that workout.

You see, I've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately, and I may have lost sight of the things inside myself to love. I may have given them all away and I now I can't get them back. But you know what? It's gonna be ok, because I'm just gonna do it all again. ...and again...and again.

I bought myself these lovely roses the other day, and even though they weren't the prettiest roses I saw, I took the time to smell all the bunches and this bunch tickled my nose buds just right. Perhaps a reminder to myself that everything in this world has a special place somewhere and is valued, maybe not valued for what it's expected to be, but precious nonetheless. The roses mean a lot to me because part of my struggle right now is financial and I saw these flowers as a way to treat myself to something now, before my belt gets really tight.

There are many folks who might find this rather out of character for me, but flowers are one of the gifts I really do appreciate. I know a lot people are divided on this subject, I've heard many friends say they would rather have some thing more practical, or longer lasting, or just save the money, but I have some very special memories of flowers in my life.

The pink carnations from my first boyfriend in sixth grade, the red roses in a rose shaped vase my father brought me upon our first meeting, my aunt's gorgeous white rose/purple iris/ivy wedding bouquet that she made for me, the red roses on my 20th birthday (the day I brought Q home from the hospital), the big expensive arrangement on my 26th birthday, the heart stopping bouquet from my mom last Valentines day...

What about the rest of you? Where do you fall in the flower debate?


  1. Oh Yea! Flowers are food for the soul. They help us remember that even when times look the worst - middle of winter, or drought, or just plain neglected - come spring, they burst through the snow and ice, raise thier heads above the tangle of weeds and find enough moisture to bloom, bringing fragrence and beauty to our eyes and souls that even if just for a moment reminds us that even when we struggle there is hope and beauty.

  2. I love flowers. I'm such a practical gal in all other ways, so I guess that when I get flowers, I feel spoiled, pampered, loved, and worth it.

    I've given up on others giving me flowers, though...and now I purchase them for myself. :)

  3. They embarrass me, but I secretly like them. I love the regular sorts of bouquets, if they can be called that, found at farmer's markets. I like my house to be filled with flowers. More than getting them, I love giving them. Such a wonderful little surprise to spring on someone--they offer no calories, no requirement to wear them when I visit, and no long term commitment. Flowers are a moment of peace and delicacy that is often lacking in our lives. You go, Sharp!